Why You’re Not Self-Sabotaging—You’re Overwhelmed

Have you ever set a goal—like eating healthier, losing weight, or even launching a new project—and then found yourself doing the opposite of what you said you wanted? Maybe you skipped the gym, reached for the processed snacks, or procrastinated on something important. Cue the inner critic: "Why do I always self-sabotage? What’s wrong with me?"

I want to offer you a fresh perspective today. One that’s more loving, more grounded, and actually more true than the concept of self-sabotage. Because here’s the thing:

What if self-sabotage isn’t real?

What if what we label as "self-sabotage" is really just our bodies communicating their current capacity? What if our "failures" are actually intelligent, embodied responses to overwhelm—a sign we’re bypassing our body’s boundaries to chase a mental desire?

Let’s break it down.

What Luis Mojica Taught Me About Self-Sabotage

This fresh perspective comes from something that Luis Mojica taught me in his course, Self-Led Somatic Healing. What I learned from Luis revolutionized how I approach health, healing, and personal growth. His teachings on capacity, desire, and charge changed the way I view setbacks and goals, and allowed me to approach myself with more compassion and embodiment than ever before.

Luis’s course gave me tools to listen to my body’s signals, to notice my capacity in the moment, and to understand that what I once called "self-sabotage" was actually my body asking for space, rest, or care.

As a health coach, I help people honor their capacity while setting health goals, and even expand their capacity as we tackle those goals one small step at a time.

With support, we can move forward by truly honoring the body while also respecting and nurturing what the mind desires.

digestive system drawing overlayed on woman's body

The Difference Between Desire and Capacity

Desire comes from the mind. It's what we want to do, achieve, or become. It’s future-focused.
Capacity is the reality of your body right now. It's how much space, energy, and nervous system flexibility you have in this moment.

Self-sabotage happens when our desires outpace our body’s capacity, and instead of honoring that, we push through—ignoring the signals of exhaustion, overwhelm, or fear. We leave our body behind and try to force it to keep up with our mind.

Our Culture Celebrates Pushing Through

We live in a society that glorifies "hustle," "grind," and "no pain, no gain." We're taught to override our limits, stimulate ourselves with caffeine, rewards, and adrenaline just to get things done.

But pushing through is a form of disconnection. It's ignoring your current reality in favor of an ideal, and while that might work short-term, it often leads to burnout, resentment, or the very "sabotage" we fear.

Honoring Capacity: A Radical Act of Self-Trust

What if instead of judging yourself, you checked in with your body? What if you asked:

Am I constricted or expanded?
Am I numb or present?
Do I have the capacity to do this, right now?

This isn’t about giving up your goals. It’s about moving toward them from a place of alignment, with your body and mind on the same page.

When you honor your body’s current state without judgment, you create space. And from that space, true progress emerges. Not from force, but from capacity.

"Self-Sabotage" Is Often a Response to Charge

Every desire, every goal, every change brings charge into the body. Charge is just life force energy: excitement, fear, joy, anxiety.

It’s non-dual — meaning it shows up with both positive and negative experiences.

If the charge of your desire is too much for your current capacity, your body might:

Get sick or fatigued
React with irritability or withdrawal
Procrastinate or distract itself
Eat or spend in ways that "don't make sense"

These aren’t flaws. They’re adaptive responses. Your body is trying to protect you from overwhelm. It's creating a break, some space, because it cannot tolerate the charge of your goal.

Reframing the Narrative

Instead of "I sabotaged myself," try:

"I didn’t have the capacity for that right now."
"My body needed a break."
"I was overwhelmed and didn't notice."

This shift isn’t about avoiding responsibility. It’s about building capacity by slowing down, checking in, and listening.

The Practice: How to Tune Into Your Capacity

Let’s try something together. Think of a desire you have. It could be small or big.

Now, close your eyes and feel into your body as you imagine that desire. Do you notice:

Constriction? (tightness, shallow breath, stress)
Numbness? (lack of sensation, dissociation)
Expansion? (openness, warmth, peace)

This is your capacity check-in. Parts of your body might say yes, others might say no. Just notice without judgment.

Now, shift focus to a part of your body that feels safe or good. From that place, ask: What do I have capacity for right now?

It might be a nap. A walk. A phone call. Something nurturing. Start there. Honoring this moment builds more capacity over time.

Living From Capacity

Your mind is infinite. Your body is finite. When they clash, you feel it.

True self-care isn’t about chasing goals at any cost. It’s about bridging the mind and body with presence, humility, and love.

When you lead from your body’s capacity, desires come to life naturally, without sabotage, because you're no longer fighting yourself.

Self-sabotage isn’t real. It’s just your body saying no. The more you listen, the more your body says yes.

If you’re curious about deepening this work, I can’t recommend Luis Mojica’s course Self-Led Somatic Healing enough. It’s a truly transformative approach to healing through the body’s wisdom.