Breaking Free from Inherited Trauma: Insights from Mark Wolynn’s Work

Inherited family trauma occurs when unresolved trauma—such as loss, tragedy, or displacement—leaves an imprint on someone’s mind and body (specifically the DNA). This imprint can be passed down through generations, influencing how descendants experience stress and emotion.

Trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it leaves marks on the body. Scientific research shows that trauma can cause epigenetic changes, where chemical tags attach to genes, altering how they are expressed. This can heighten our stress response, making us more prone to anxiety, hypervigilance, or physical symptoms, even if we never experienced the original trauma firsthand.

A Story of Inherited Trauma

Wolynn shares a powerful story of a 16-year-old boy with a rare neurological disorder that caused burning sensations on his skin. Despite extensive testing, doctors couldn’t find a cause.

When Wolynn spoke to the boy’s mother, she revealed that the boy’s father had experienced a traumatic event at age 10—he accidentally set their house on fire. Though he survived, his younger brother didn’t. The father carried deep guilt and unprocessed grief.

Years later, at the same age his father was during the tragedy, the boy began experiencing burning sensations—his body was echoing the trauma of an event he never experienced. Once the family processed and acknowledged the trauma, the boy’s symptoms began to subside.

This story illustrates how unresolved trauma can manifest as emotional or physical challenges in future generations.

There are two principles from Wolynn’s work that resonate deeply with me:

You Are Not Your Trauma Many of the beliefs we have about ourselves—our fears, reactions, and even habits—are not reflections of who we are but reflexes rooted in the traumas of our ancestors. These reactions are like inherited patterns, passed down biologically. When we realize that these automatic responses are not our identity, we create space for awareness and healing.

The Power of Language Our thoughts, words, and stories often carry remnants of the past. Wolynn describes these as "breadcrumbs" that can lead us to understand inherited trauma. By identifying the stories we tell ourselves—especially the ones that feel heavy and limiting—we can begin to trace their origins and rewrite them.

Before diving further, take a moment to pause and reflect:

Think about the beliefs, phobias, or relationship patterns that feel like part of your identity. Ask yourself: Is this really mine? If you feel a shift or a quiet no from within, pay attention. That’s your body speaking.

When trauma occurs, the body adapts for survival. This adaptation can lead to heightened reflexes, hypervigilance, and an overactive stress response—traits that can be passed down biologically.

For example, ancestors who lived through war, famine, or displacement may have developed faster reaction times and heightened alertness to survive. Their bodies learned to be on high alert for danger. However, when their descendants inherit this "high-alert" state in safe environments, it can manifest as chronic anxiety or fear that seems to have no cause.

Understanding "Ancestral Alarm Clocks"

Wolynn uses the term "ancestral alarm clocks" to describe how trauma can resurface at specific ages or life events:

• Life Events: Major milestones such as marriage, moving to a new place, or having a child can act as triggers for inherited trauma.

• Age Patterns: People may experience sudden detachment from their partner, a career crisis, or unexplained grief at the same age their ancestors experienced a major loss or trauma.

For example, even moving to a new place can trigger grief if ancestors were forced to flee their homeland or experienced devastating losses during resettlement.

One reason inherited trauma feels so powerful is that these memories live in our bodies, not just in our minds. Our hippocampus—the part of the brain responsible for forming memories—doesn’t fully develop until age 2 or 3. Before then, memories are stored somatically, meaning they’re held as body sensations rather than conscious thoughts.

Even as early as 20 days in the womb, the fetal nervous system and heart begin forming and imprinting. Trauma experienced by the mother during pregnancy can leave somatic imprints on the child.

One of the most puzzling experiences in my life has been the deep sadness that hits me almost every day at 4 PM. It’s not triggered by anything happening in my life—I just feel it deep in my bones, as if I’m carrying a grief that isn’t mine. Sometimes, it drags me into self-pity and keeps me from being productive, while other times, I manage to move past it. In the past, I used stimulatory foods—often unhealthy ones—to push through the heaviness, but now I try to simply notice it and tell myself, “This doesn’t feel like it’s mine. Maybe it’s ancestral trauma.”

A similar inexplicable emotion showed up when my daughters were younger. Every day at school pickup, I would feel massive anxiety, even though I had no logical reason to be afraid. The environment was safe, the other parents were nice, and yet I would find myself spiraling into negative self-talk, asking, “What is wrong with me? Why am I anxious for no reason?” Learning about ancestral trauma has given me a different lens to view these unexplained emotions.

I don’t know what may have happened at 4 PM in my family’s past or what past experiences around child pickup may have left a mark on my lineage, but I now understand that trauma can imprint itself on our DNA and be passed down through generations. Simply recognizing that these emotions may not be mine has brought me relief, allowing me to let them pass through me rather than letting them define me. Instead of blaming myself, I can now meet these moments with curiosity, self-compassion, and hope that healing is possible.

While knowing the story behind the trauma can be helpful, it’s not essential for healing. What’s most important is creating new, positive experiences that rewire the brain and shift how we process stress.

Wolynn emphasizes that healing involves creating experiences that strengthen the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for regulating emotion) and calm the amygdala (the part responsible for the fight-or-flight response).

Ways to Begin Healing

Here are some simple yet powerful ways to begin healing inherited trauma:

Gratitude Practice:
Reflect on three things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude strengthens the prefrontal cortex and releases serotonin, a feel-good hormone.

Acts of Kindness:
Doing something thoughtful for someone else activates oxytocin, the "love hormone," and reinforces positive emotions.

Self-Compassion:
Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a close friend. Self-compassion helps reframe negative self-talk and soothes the nervous system.

Mindfulness and Grounding:
Focus on your breath, notice your surroundings, and bring your awareness to the present moment. Mindfulness helps downregulate the amygdala and creates new neural pathways associated with safety.

Healing inherited trauma requires more than just awareness—it involves consistent practice. Here’s why:

• Releasing Feel-Good Hormones: Practices like gratitude, kindness, and self-compassion release serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, which help calm the stress response.

• Strengthening the Prefrontal Cortex: Mindfulness strengthens the prefrontal cortex, allowing us to regulate emotions and respond to stress more calmly.

• Changing Gene Expression: Studies show that positive experiences can change how genes involved in the stress response are expressed.

Final Thoughts: Reclaiming Your Life

Inherited family trauma teaches us that healing is not just personal—it’s generational. By becoming aware of the stories and patterns we’ve inherited and creating new, positive experiences, we can break free from cycles of fear and live more fully.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying burdens that don’t fully make sense, you’re not alone—and it didn’t necessarily start with you. The good news is that healing is possible.

Mark Wolynn’s It Didn’t Start with You is an excellent resource for anyone ready to understand and heal from generational trauma.

His website, markwolynn.com, offers additional resources, including training, workshops, and private sessions.

Remember, healing is your birthright. You don’t have to carry the weight of the past. By doing this work, you’re not only reclaiming your life but also creating a legacy of resilience for future generations.