How Judging Your Body Keeps You Stuck

When it comes to weight gain, most people are focused on food. What to eat, what not to eat, how many calories, which diet. But what if one of the most powerful drivers of weight gain has nothing to do with food at all?

What if the real issue is how often you judge yourself?

That might sound unrelated, but it's not. Judging your body—whether out loud or silently throughout the day—creates a stress response in your nervous system. That stress response isn’t just mental or emotional. It’s chemical. It triggers real shifts in your hormones, digestion, and metabolism.

Every time you criticize your body, your body hears it as danger.

Your muscles tense. Your breathing becomes shallow. Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol get released. And over time, this constant internal stress response keeps your body in what I call “survival mode.” In that mode, your body will store more fat, crave more sugar, and struggle to feel safe. So yes—your mindset matters. Not just in a motivational sense, but in a biological one.

Self-Judgment = Chronic Stress

Let’s break this down more clearly. When you're living in a constant state of self-judgment—telling yourself you're too big, too soft, too slow, or not disciplined enough—your brain perceives that as a threat. It doesn’t matter that it’s “just a thought.” Your body responds the same way it would if someone else were attacking you.

And what happens when we’re under threat?

• Digestion slows down or becomes erratic.

• Blood sugar gets dumped into the bloodstream for quick energy.

• Insulin levels rise to deal with the sugar spike.

• And the body starts storing fat—especially around the middle—as a protective measure.

So when clients come to me saying, “I need to lose this weight, I’m so frustrated with myself,” the first place I start is not with food. I start by helping them explore the stress response that’s being triggered all day long through how they relate to their body.

There’s a Difference Between the Weight and the Story

This is an important distinction I wish more people understood:
There is the weight your body is carrying…
And then there is the story you tell yourself about that weight.

The story might sound like:

• “I shouldn’t look like this.”

• “I have no control.”

• “I’ll never feel confident.”

• “I’m disgusting.”

Those are not facts. Those are conditioned beliefs, often internalized from early life, culture, media, or painful experiences. And they do damage.

Not just to your self-esteem, but to your biology. The more you repeat those stories, the more stress chemicals you release. And the more stressed your system becomes, the harder it is for your body to shift into a state where it can release stored fat and regulate hunger in a healthy way.

The Real First Step

If you’re trying to lose weight, I want to offer something that may be different from what you’ve been told:
The first step is not overhauling your diet. It’s changing how you talk to yourself.

Start with this:

• Can I become aware of when I’m criticizing my body?

• Can I pause and ask, “What’s actually going on in my body right now?”

• Can I soften—just a little—and bring some curiosity instead of judgment?

This doesn’t mean pretending to love your body when you don’t. It means noticing when your thoughts are fueling stress instead of healing. That awareness is powerful. It shifts your physiology, your cravings, and your ability to make nourishing choices.

Final Thoughts

We don’t binge or eat out of control because we’re broken. We do it because we’re trying to feel better. And for a lot of people, food becomes a way to soothe the pain that comes from constantly judging themselves.

If you take away one thing from this post, let it be this:
Self-judgment is a hidden source of stress—and stress keeps weight on. You can work on food habits, yes. But do it from a place of care, not punishment. Your body listens to everything you think, say, and feel about it. So let’s be more intentional about what we’re telling it.