Why Changing Your Habits Is So Difficult: The Key to Lasting Transformation

Your daily habits are more than just actions—they’re the building blocks of your life. They reflect and reinforce the story you tell yourself about who you are. If you’ve struggled with weight for years, you might have developed a belief that "I’m just someone who can’t stick to a plan" or "I’m not someone who enjoys exercise." Over time, these beliefs become part of your self-perception, shaping not only your behaviors but how you see yourself in the world.

The truth is, your self-perception and your habits are deeply connected. If you believe you’re someone who struggles with weight, you’re more likely to engage in behaviors that support that identity—whether it’s overeating, avoiding exercise, or choosing convenience over health. Your brain will always try to prove that belief true, keeping you stuck in a cycle that’s hard to break.

The good news is that breaking this cycle is possible, but it requires a different approach than simply forcing new actions. Lasting change starts with shifting how you see yourself. Instead of focusing solely on what you need to do, start by asking yourself, “Who do I want to become?”

Let’s say your goal is to lose weight and feel healthier. Rather than just focusing on cutting calories or exercising more, consider what your future self would look like. How would she think about her health? How would she treat her body? How would she handle setbacks or cravings? By focusing on becoming this healthier version of yourself, you can start to align your habits with that new identity.

As a health coach, I want to share a simple process that can help you break through old habits and step into a healthier, more empowered version of yourself:

Pick Your Desired Habit: Start by identifying a specific habit you want to change. For example, if weight loss is your goal, maybe you want to create the habit of eating more nutrient-dense meals or walking daily.

Define Your New Identity: Ask yourself who you need to become to achieve that goal. What does this version of you believe about her health and well-being? What kind of choices does she make, and how does she think about food and exercise?

Focus on Small Wins: Each day, take small actions that support your new identity. These small wins are incredibly powerful. It could be as simple as choosing a healthy snack over junk food or taking a short walk after dinner. Every small step reinforces your new self-perception.

Embrace the Discomfort: Change isn’t easy, and it’s normal to feel uncomfortable as you shift old habits. You might feel frustration, anxiety, or even doubt. This is a natural part of the process, and it’s okay to feel uncomfortable. What’s important is that you keep moving forward, knowing that each step brings you closer to becoming the person you want to be.

When I work with clients, I remind them that lasting change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of becoming—of gradually shifting your self-perception and creating habits that align with the person you want to be. I’ve seen this work in my own life, too. When I shifted my focus from simply losing weight to becoming someone who prioritizes her health and well-being, the changes started to stick. I wasn’t just dieting—I was transforming.

So, if you’re struggling to change your habits, don’t be too hard on yourself. Understand that it’s not just about the actions you take, but about how you see yourself. Start thinking about the person you want to become and focus on small, daily wins that reinforce that new identity. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone. As a health coach, I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Change is possible. You can become the healthiest version of yourself—and I’m here to help you get there.

Changing habits is tough, but you don’t have to do it alone. My 21-Day Ancestral Health Challenge is designed to help you transform your lifestyle with guided support, daily motivation, and practical steps. Together, we’ll focus on building the habits that align with your healthiest self.

Sign up today and start your journey toward lasting change!